Smartphone? Not really.

4:29:59 AM. Rrring, Rrring.

Waking up 2 hours early is no easy feat. Actually, waking up on time on any given day can be a challenge when you've learned to turn off ever possible device in your sleep. So, my coping strategy: set multiple alarms, and you're bound to get up within 15 minutes of the time you should.

Thus my iPod Touch had 3 alarms set this morning, each with their own ring tone: 4 AM, 4:15, and 4:30. The first alarm was successful, enough that I'd already checked email and Twitter on the iPod, and replied to a txt from my girlfriend on my phone. And I still had time to get in the shower before...

Rrring. Rrring.

You know, I thought these devices were supposed to be smart. Ok, so my iPod Touch isn't a smartphone, but it's essentially an iPhone without a sim card, so it basically is a smartphone. And if it was smart, it had every reason to know I was awake. But the 3rd alarm still went off until I could go turn it off.

My device was obeying me, ringing just like I'd asked it to. Just like the poor guy whose alarm went off during a concert. They're not truly smart, they're just logical systems that do what we tell them to. They let us know when we receive new emails and Tweets and appointments because we told them to, not because they're so smart they know what we want. Their alarm clocks aren't really smarter than that old digital clock on your nightstand. Sure, it's more powerful than a turn-of-the-century PC, but your smartphone is still rather dumb.

We're making them seem smarter. They can remind us of things we need to do at specific locations thanks to geofencing. They can auto-adjust their screen brightness thanks to sensors, and auto-sync our data with the cloud. They can even understand our voices, when we’re lucky and the internet connection is fast enough. We've made them seem pretty smart, but in reality, they're not that smart at all. At least, they're not intelligent.

And we could make them smarter. Perhaps they could take network and app usage as an indicator that we're awake. Perhaps they could do an even better job waking us up, presenting us with the weather, schedule, weather, and news instead of blasting an alarm for 10 minutes (wait, maybe that'd just give us more reason to pull the covers back over our heads). We could add more logic, and make them seem a lot smarter. But intelligence? Really knowing what you need, when you need it? That's so far off, it seems impossible. iOS 5.1 still thinks I want to be woken up while I'm in the shower.

So then I go outside. It's been raining, and I'd left my shoes outside under a bench. I reach down to pick them up, and our Shitzu dog jumps on the bench. Excited to see me, he shakes all the rain off his coat, right into my face.

Smartphone? Please. I don't even have a smart dog yet, and he's actually alive.

Thoughts? @reply me on Twitter.